• 08
  • June
    2010

Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love.

These music lyrics are so popular that they almost seem to have turned from mere prose to life lessons that guide many lives.

But love and marriage are different things, and recent divorce studies prove that all we need is not love for a marriage to last. Love alone cannot lift spouses up where they belong if one belongs in a church and the other belongs in a synagogue. Contrary to what a society accustomed to embracing tolerance of diversity wants to hear, researchers regret to report that religious diversity in a marriage does not make for a lasting relationship.

A 2001 survey shows that it's 3 times more likely for interfaith marriages to end in divorce than shared-faith marriages. A Texas source reports that even couples who are of the same religion but let religion guide their lives differently are more likely to divorce than couples with the same religious habits.

And when these faith-complicated marriages end in divorce, it is not uncommon for the proceedings to get ugly. The issue of how the couples' children will be raised frequently leads to combative strategies that only exist outside of the uncontested divorce and uncontested child custody routes.

Researchers suggest that the current marrying generation will provide an interesting area of study for future investigations into marriage, religion and divorce. They are a group who has grown up in a more inclusive and tolerant society. Also, they define themselves as more spiritual rather than as members of certain religious denominations, which is different than generations before them.

Some predict that those defining characteristics of the now 20 somethings might make for more successful interfaith marriages. Others aren't so optimistic. They believe that just as has happened in the past, even the so-called tolerant generation will still be surprised by how their religious connections will inevitably come up in their marriages and cause serious conflict, especially when it comes to issues about raising children.

Only time will tell the direction that interfaith marriages will take. But if studies are right, and the goal of marriage is still "Until death do us part," then it might not be a bad idea for everyone to take religious differences more seriously when choosing a life partner. 

Resource

Interfaith marriages are rising fast, but they're failing fast too